Rider’s resolve will put her back in the saddle

By LAURA DANOWSKI
Palms West Monthly
Posted Jan. 4, 2012

Ah, once again, time for mutterings of “Where has time gone?”

Either spoken or rolled between one’s ears, the sentiment also carts along the “four-letter” word R-E-S-O-L-U-TI-O-N. Bleech! 

A loose definition of resolution is a commitment made by an individual to a lasting personal goal, project or reforming of a habit. This lifestyle change is generally interpreted as advantageous.  

I’ve never been good at resolution, but lately find myself intrigued by resolve, and concerned with why things have or have not happened. 

For 35 years I’ve had horses in my life on a day-to-day experience. And too often during the last seven years, if I could have made a clean break from these animals and the sport, I would have. But why? 

Truth be told, I haven’t sat on a horse since February 2011 and have been okay with that – which is not normal. Well-intentioned friends have said, “Just make yourself go ride.”

My reply, “Make yourself go to the gym.”

Conversation ends. Seeking help from horsemen who make their living riding and training, I was asked questions non-riders wouldn’t know. My response was often vague. The riders left me with, “Do what you love, the rest will follow.”

I’ve never made my living with horses. I’m a bonafide cube dweller with a 20-year command of keyboards and misbehaving printers. I’m too old to make money with horses.

Searching for why not riding was acceptable has taken me on many paths. And what I’ve learned was surprising: I’m my own worst enemy. Only recently and somewhat by accident, has insight turned into progress.

To those who attended The Holiday HorseFest at the Meyer Amphitheatre along the West Palm Beach Waterfront, put on by Equestrian Sport Productions, what they saw was nothing shy of a grand, well-coordinated effort.

The purpose of the event is to bring people into the world of horse on any level. I wanted to go and see if that might rekindle my desire to ride. The event provided food, music, face-painting and other details for a great family outing. And the stars of the show – the jumpers, dressage, driving and trick horses – all were there to represent dedication to the bond between animals and humans, communication and the time it takes to teach, learn and reproduce the magic.

And that’s when insight appeared … in the word time. We didn’t go because we didn’t have time.

Wow – I had misplaced (not lost) my desire to ride, because my time management was out of control. Some of my chaos was self-induced from having too many commitments in my life that require maintenance. Hence, I’ve been weeding and learning to say “no.”

Some of my chaos comes from doing what has to be done and that’s okay. I’m learning to ask for help and accept others’ best efforts in getting things done. I can’t do it all.  

One of the best things about being down-sized from corporate America is being afforded time for mental and emotional house-cleaning. I can longer hide behind “my job.” The empty time has forced me to look at myself, relationships and learn from my mistakes.

Another piece of the solution was money management. We never lived far beyond our means, nor in a comfortable affair with plastic money. Having my income of $40,000 per year disappear forced us to evaluate needs and wants. We started to pay for things with cash – refer to the definition of resolution and reforming a habit. This was a chore. We have eliminated significant debt, which has eased the burden and given spirit to pursue what I love. 

My freedom provides writing about horses and working with great personalities in the industry. I also clean stalls and paddocks everyday, scrub buckets, doctor wounds, unload hay, trim bushes and do yard work. I’ve lost 11 pounds and the pallor of fluorescent lights, but can’t say much for my manicure. 

One downside of the freedom is realizing the need to go into a gym and regain my wind, leg and balance before getting back in the saddle. At 45, I don’t recover from getting bucked-off like I used to.

Willie is fit and has been in consistent work with another rider since May. People at the gym applaud me on starting my New Year’s resolution and sticking to it three days a week. I explain why I’m there and will most likely reduce my attendance as soon as I get back into a riding routine. 

I hate to admit that going to the gym for only a month now has made a visible and effective difference in my stamina and mental well-being. 

Resolution, resolve … whatever. The definition said “…This lifestyle change is generally interpreted as advantageous.” So far, so good.